Tuesday, 10 September 2013

How is Tim ....

My gorgeous beautiful Tim!!

The last 2 months have been so hard for him.

He was such a Daddy's boy.

He worshipped him and was loved back fiercely.

He is on the cusp of becoming a teenager, growing up fast, but Im trying to not let Stig's passing make him grow up faster than he already is. I don't think I'm being successful at slowing it down though.

He is a good kid. He is smart. He is caring. He loves hard and deep.
I hope this never changes.

He has been good at talking to me - others not so much;)

I want to record (with his permission) how he explained his feeling and how he is dealing with them.

We discussed a couple of days after Stig's death that it is important for him to talk to people about how he is feeling and that crying is an Ok things to do. In fact it is a good way to get emotions out - his response was:

"It is like I have 2 boxes filled with sweets. One box has sweets I really like and the other box has sweets I don't like. I know I have to eat both the boxes of sweets eventually, but for now I am choosing the box of sweets I like. The other box can wait"
"If I can choose to concentrate on other things and distract myself I choose to do that for now!"

When he tried to explain to me how he felt about loosing his dad and how he sees the future, he said:

"It is like when you break your arm. The initial pain is so sharp and intense. Then hopefully, slowly over time it will begin to heal and the pain lessen. However, even with time, the break point will always be there when it heals and never really go away".

He is truely my gorgeous boy - today he is home with a migraine (a little stress maybe) and I went upstairs to put something away. He came and found me. 

"What are you doing ?Are you ok? I just wanted to check you are OK - in our house we all look after each other".

Sometimes he is too smart for his own good. When I explained that I thought it would be a good idea for all of us to seek someone to talk to about daddy's sudden death, to help us understand our feelings his reply was:

"Well, Im telling you now, all Tae needs is the iPad, ice cream, you and me. All I need is my X-Box, you and Tae.We are fine! If you thnk you need something else, feel free!"

A couple of weeks later after another discussion about the above, smiling, he gave me this argument against speaking to a counselor regarding his feelings...

"So you always told me I must never talk to strangers .....and more importantly you emphasised that I must NEVER share my personal information with strangers... hence that means it would be against everything you have taught me to talk and share with a councelor who I dont know who is a stranger:) 

Fun time people! Fun times:))


  1. Så smart og god han er! Og så flott at det har hverandre, ipad, xbox og iskrem :)

  2. I a smiling through tears at his last answer. ;o) He has wisdom far beyond his years. He is so right about the wound. It may heal some, but the scar remains. IMO the pain doesn't necessarily go away--you just learn to live with it. I think of you all often and remember you in my prayers with love.