Saturday, 24 August 2013

Beginning a new normal

I know a lot of people who care for us have been asking - or wanting to ask - 'how are you doing? or how are the boys?'

Quite a loaded question;) I usually answer:

we are fine
we are taking it one day at a time
its tough, but we are doing our best.

There is no answer that explains the gap left in our lives.

We are slowly trying to find our new normal.

Tim has been back at school and football practice for one week.
Tae is back at day care.
I've been back at work for 2 weeks now.

The house is clean, the boys are fed and we all wear clean clothes.
I'd say that pretty much sums it up.

We are carrying on.
The turmoil inside each of us continues and we are talking together and trying to make sense of it.

There are still tears, frustration and new firsts without Stig each and everyday, but we keep going.

My MIL is staying with us and has been amazing in helping the boys transition to the new school year and keeping us all fed!

I have discovered a new skill of cooking on the bbq;)

I also have some wonderful friends.

Life continues as a rollercoaster with many ups and downs, but we are also still doing our regular things, trampolinging, paddling pool, iPad, tv, lego and general hanging out and having fun.

So many people have told me I'm being strong, how tough I am, how resourceful. 

But let's be honest.... I don't think I had a choice.

I have two amazing, beautiful boys who need me to be OK. They need to know that mum has this covered, to show them we can do this.

I am taking everything I have learnt from the last 12 years of parenting with Stig and trying to do my best!

So with one step forward, one day at a time, I can do this.... I don't want to, but I can.

Monday, 19 August 2013

Back to School

I started back at work last Monday and today was Tim's turn. Tae has been in and out of daycare since we came back to Norway.

Introducing my Seventh Grader!!

He was very reluctant to have his photo taken today and basically I made him! However, I had to be really quick:0 It should be an interesting year! (he is incredibly tired too)

Tae started his final year in daycare and is now in the group that prepare for starting Grade 1 in school next year.

He loves going and is happy to be dropped off each day. When I collect him, the first thing he says in the car is 'barnegage is fun!' hope this continues:)

He was very happy to have his photo taken (and stood hopping up and down saying take a picture of meeeee), he ended up photobombing many of Tim's shots!

Love my boys!

Saturday, 3 August 2013

To Pappa

It has been tough

It has been hard

It has hurt

There are no words....

But, we have had to try to go on without him at our side.

I gave Tim the choice of whether he wished to write something to be either read at the funeral, place in the coffin or put in his special memory box. 

He wanted to write something and do all three options. He sat down at the kitchen table and queitly wrote.

With his permission I am recording it here. He wrote it in  Norwegian, he then translated it to English. Both versions are here.

Til Min Pappa
Min pappa, han var den beste faren man kan tenke seg.
Det går ikke an å utrykke hvordan det føles å miste noe så fint i livet så fort.
Han var min rolemodell, min helt og mest viktig min far. Alle som kjente han godt vet hvordan det er å ha han som venn eller familie.
Jeg har min referanse som er "Master of Life".
Jeg har det godt i hjertet mitt at vår siste dag var en av våre beste.
Jeg vil alltid elske deg pappa, adjø.

To My Pappa
My pappa, he was the best father you can imagine.
There is no way to explain how it feels to loose someone so great in life so fast.
He was my role model, my hero and most importantly my father. All those who knew him, understood what it was to have him as a friend or family.
I have my reference of him as 'Master of Life'.
I have it good in my heart that our last day was one of our best.
I will always love you Pappa, goodbye.

He is devastated, yet he is still beyond amazing.

.........and breathe