Beginning a new normal

I know a lot of people who care for us have been asking - or wanting to ask - 'how are you doing? or how are the boys?'

Quite a loaded question;) I usually answer:

we are fine

we are taking it one day at a time

its tough, but we are doing our best.

There is no answer that explains the gap left in our lives.

We are slowly trying to find our new normal.

Tim has been back at school and football practice for one week.

Tae is back at day care.

I've been back at work for 2 weeks now.

The house is clean, the boys are fed and we all wear clean clothes.

I'd say that pretty much sums it up.

We are carrying on.

The turmoil inside each of us continues and we are talking together and trying to make sense of it.

There are still tears, frustration and new firsts without Stig each and everyday, but we keep going.

My MIL is staying with us and has been amazing in helping the boys transition to the new school year and keeping us all fed!

I have discovered a new skill of cooking on the bbq;)

I also have some wonderful friends.

Life continues as a rollercoaster with many ups and downs, but we are also still doing our regular things, trampolinging, paddling pool, iPad, tv, lego and general hanging out and having fun.

So many people have told me I'm being strong, how tough I am, how resourceful. 

But let's be honest.... I don't think I had a choice.

I have two amazing, beautiful boys who need me to be OK. They need to know that mum has this covered, to show them we can do this.

I am taking everything I have learnt from the last 12 years of parenting with Stig and trying to do my best!

So with one step forward, one day at a time, I can do this.... I don't want to, but I can.