Adapt and Change

Lots of interesting thoughts going around in my head.

I guess having your whole world turned upside down might do that!

I thought I had it all sorted, planned out.

We had reached a place where we were established, just cruising along, enjoying life, each with our own ways and routines.

Then.... Bang... time to regroup and start again.

 I am 4 months into life without Stig. 

In the last 15 years, we had an agreement never to be apart more than 10 days. It amazes me I have survived over 120 days without him!

It has been challenging at times and plain painful at others.

Mainly it has been a huge learning curve.

All those 'little' things, that magically happend around here that he just did, I've had to learn.

All the phone calls to companies to sort out this or that, I've done.

All the driving the kids around, I've juggled.

All the shopping, cooking and cleaning, I've squeezed in.

All the kisses and cuddles, I've indulged.

All the tears, I've wiped away.
All the bedtime stories, I've read.

All the school and day care meetings, I've attended.
All the decisions, I've made.

All the responsibility, I've carried.

I am a positive person and in a situation like this it has served me well!!

I'm letting ya know - it is bloody hard going to keep postive! BUT... I have 2 great reasons why I do.

Life is continuing. We are doing OK, not great, but OK. Life was not suppose to be like this. I don't like having to put my 4 year old (normal bedtime 7pm) in a car at 8.00-8:30pm three times a week because I have to pick his brother up from football practise or scouts. I hate having to leave my 12 year old on his own each morning for one hour as I have to leave early to drop his brother off and get to work, but I don't have the luxury of choice these days.

(Tae rocking the pj's, wellies and bobble hat in his football pick up wardrobe;)

I read a quote shortly after Stig's death. It hit home and I often draw upon it as I try to forge the road ahead.

'It is not about weathering the storm, it is about learning to dance in the rain!'

Amazingly, a friend of mine also sent me this quote on a poster for my birthday  - now that is a sign:0

As we navigate a new normal, a new future, whatever that is, we are all doing our best to make the man who made us who we are, proud.

Love you babes - we are doing our best!!